I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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