ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
