yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
two words: eviction party
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Randomize
