they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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