VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
