So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
