i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
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let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
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Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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