You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
babies were throwing up all over the place
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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