I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sorry my hands just texted you
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
