Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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