Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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