how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
