Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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