Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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