So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
