her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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