How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
