You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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