You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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