I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
