Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
