I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
