Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
