I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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