I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
