Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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