I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
