Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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