thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
