Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
