...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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