you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Floor bacon is actually really good
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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