So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
