I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
