Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
