Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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