this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
