Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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