saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
