we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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