You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
