I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize