we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
