RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
