sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
