you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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