I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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