Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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