Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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