The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend