Nicole vs. Life
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes