New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.