somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
