We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
