Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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