"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I want to fling myself into the sun
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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