my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
