with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
