I'm going to jail i love you
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
