NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
