I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
