Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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