you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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