From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
