no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
