just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
