I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Randomize
