She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
