At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
