Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
