So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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